Twin Talk

My twins have always had a funny little unique way of chit chatting to each other. I wouldn’t say it’s a secret twin language but they definitely have had a special, very sweet way of communicating together.

For instance, they called each other ‘Babby’ for a long time, it was each other’s name as far as they were concerned. O would call H Babby, and H would call O Babby. They pronounced it as a cross between babby and bobby I suppose and it was so so cute I can’t describe! Quite strange really, but even though it was the same word, they said it ever so slightly differently to each other!

Of course, the rest of us used to use that too. We did use their names aswell but when we were having a bit of fun we would call them Babby, I guess it stuck!

I’m sure it stemmed from me calling them ‘my baby’ when I spoke to them when they were very young…. you know that silly, gooey daft way we talk to our babies, when we hold them close and snuggle in to them….. ‘aww my baby’, or ‘where’s my beautiful baby?’, or ‘hello my baby boy’… etc etc…. They might have mistaken this for being their name ha. I can’t really think of another reason, unless saying their actual names was a bit too difficult for them.

They’ve only recently started using each others real name.

Or maybe it was just their loving way of addressing each other. My twins are very close, they get along so well and definitely have a very special bond. I love nothing more than spying on them whilst they chat and play, listening in to their babble, they are completely in tune and have an understanding. They comfort and soothe each other when one is upset and if I’m not sure what one is trying to say, the other tells me, as if translating for me!

Gap shirts twins

I just love the way toddlers and small kids talk. You get such an insight into how they see the world sometimes. And it’s especially funny when they think they know something and waffle on about it, using their imagination but are completely wrong!

My twins have come out with some corkers recently.

The best place at the moment for listening to some hilarious chit chat from them is in the car.

At the traffic lights the other day, we were at the front of the queue at a red light and they noticed a no left turn sign….

O – “Look Mummy, no boomerangs”

H to O – “No boomerangs allowed?”

O – “No, not allowed to play boomerangs here”

There was another sign too…..

H thought he would add his own bit of knowledge by saying..

H – “And no horseshoes”

O – “No horseshoes?”

H – “No, not no horseshoes silly…. no HORSES!!!”

So random. So funny.

Another funny little comment the other day by H must’ve been inspired by the Christmassy songs they’ve been learning at school recently. Again it was in the car. It took a few attempts of him asking me before I actually realised what on earth he was going on about. My twins have a good vocabulary but still speak quite baby like and not very clear, so instead of asking them to repeat themselves over and over (this annoys them) I try my best to figure it out. On this particular day H came out with this and because it was so out of the blue with no lead up to it at all, it took a while for me to get it…

H – “Mummy, there’s no crib for a bed”!

Me – “What’s that darling?”

H – “There’s no crib for a bed”!

Hmm, no, still couldn’t understand. I glanced over towards my daughter who was sitting in the front seat but she shook her head as if to let me know she didn’t quite pick it up either. One more try then…

Me – “Just say that again sweetie I didn’t hear you properly?”

H – (huffing) – “There’s no crib for a bed!!”

Ah ok, realisation. The boys had been learning the carol ‘Away in a Manger’ for their church service. Bless H, he was obviously mulling over the lyrics and was quite concerned that baby Jesus has no where to sleep! We then had a sing song of course.

My twins have been practicing their phonics at home these past few weeks too, we go through some of them and find words beginning with a particular letter. One of the letters was ‘b’. They came back with the obvious ones like ball, bag then H said ‘bragon’…. hehe which was the mythical fire breathing beast – obvs.

First letter sounds are quite often muddled. Both boys put a ‘t’ in front of a lot of words, like…. tar (car), tup (cup) and my absolute favourite…

Tuddle (cuddle) – I love this. “Me want tuddles Mummy”

They don’t say ‘I’ either, they say ‘Me’…. “Me want a tuddle!!” “Me want a brink (drink)”….. My heart melts when my boys say “tuddles Mummy” with their little arms open towards me, it gets me every time – I just can’t resist, sooooo cute!

That recent pop song that shot up the charts ‘I don’t care, I love it’ by Icona Pop was renamed in my house to ‘Me don’t care, Me love it’!! Hilarious that the boys sang ‘Me’ instead of ‘I’ even when everyone else sang it correctly.

Another funny little comment the other day was when I was cuddling H, he looked at me seriously and said..

“Mummy, you have eyebrows”

This made me laugh…. in fact, H had no clue that I was going to find this funny so when I laughed, he jumped out of his skin.

“Yes I do” I said whilst trying to move them up and down, making him giggle!

“You have eyebrows too” I told him… before picking him up and showing him in the mirror.

“Oh yes” he said, almost surprised!

His are very fair, almost invisible, so maybe he hadn’t noticed them before, or maybe he was just playing around with me, who knows?!

Another time O and H were trying to tell me about ‘Clams’… (that’s exactly how it sounded anyway)… they were talking about them and saying they saw one. I was intrigued.

“You saw clams?” I asked…

“Yes”. Both boys were waffling but not making any sense so I probed…

Me – “Where?”

O – “In the field”

Hmm, not getting this. Tried another tactic.

Me – “Where do the clams live?”

O – “Those live in big tents!!!”

LOL…..Aww….. he meant Clowns!

There are so many funny things my twins say, on a daily basis. Just thought I’d share some of them. Maybe this is a topic I should return to very soon……

Wot So Funee?


Super Goldfish

Last week I believed I witnessed something quite…. umm…. Holy? Divine? Sacred? Supernatural?!!

Let me enlighten you…..

Teen went along to the local funfair with friends to see the firework display.

He came back with a Goldfish!

He did call to ask if he could try and win one to be fair. I said no, but he brought one back anyway.

Nothing like an obedient teenager!

Goldfish bowl food

Like most goldfish that people win from fairgrounds, we assumed it wouldn’t last five minutes. I felt sorry for it to be honest, bless it – swimming around in a teeny weeny clear plastic bag. We didn’t have a tank or anything but at least Teen had enough sense to buy the poor little sod some fish food.

Daughter was overjoyed at this new acquisition.

So of course I dutifully accepted this creature into our home and began looking for something for it to live in! Found him (let’s assume it’s male) a large glass bowl and carefully transferred him over from tiny bag. Teen put the bowl in his room.

Now, being the person that I am, I was already planning to buy a proper tank with a filter and plants etc….. I haven’t owned fish before – apart from a goldfish I too won from a fair when I was a little girl. In those days we bought a bowl and gravel from the stall but that was it, my goldfish lasted quite a few years which I presumed meant she (gender guessing again) must’ve been happy. I’ve since discovered that keeping goldfish in a bowl without a pump is cruel!

I thought I’d be sensible though and give this little fella a few days to decide if he was going to stick around!

Fast forward two days and he was still swimming around his bowl, my Teen came home from school on this particular day and didn’t feel too well so went to bed for a sleep.

A little later on, Teen came downstairs to have his dinner, stood in the kitchen and snapped….

“What have you done with my fish?!!!”

We all looked at each other and laughed… I thought he’d been dreaming or hallucinating… maybe he had a temperature?!

He was serious.

We all raced upstairs at this point, pushing and shoving each other out of the way, trying to get to Teens room first so we could discover what the hell he was going on about!

No fish in the bowl.

I couldn’t quite grasp what I was seeing, or wasn’t seeing… the bowl was empty…. How was this possible?

I felt panic, then a pang of sadness, poor little fish. I recalled that I’d either read or heard somewhere that fish can sometimes ‘jump’ out of the bowl/tank, either playfully or because they need oxygen, so we began looking around for him. None of us really wanted to see him lying somewhere but we needed to find him.

Couldn’t see him anywhere.

I know I’d seen him in the bowl earlier in the day and Teen said the fish was in the bowl when he came home from school, so we can conclude he must’ve jumped out between 4 and 6.00pm (ish)

We searched and searched but couldn’t find him, it was the most completely bizarre thing. Such a mystery.

Where the hell was he?

We gave up the search for the time being and went back downstairs for dinner.

Teen said he expected him not to last, a statement I knew was concealing his disappointment, he won it on his birthday and wanted to prove us all wrong…. that it would last longer than a few days.

After dinner I grabbed a torch and headed up another search party. The bowl was on top of Teens large drawers in his room so we pulled them away from the wall and shone the torch down the back, almost crippling myself trying to see. Then on all fours looking underneath… nothing there but crisp packets and rubbish. We looked in every single drawer as Teen rarely shuts them, it could’ve dropped in any one of them. We had already done this the first time we searched but were convinced we missed it.

I felt like a detective trying to piece it all together. Racking my brains for an answer. I just needed a magnifying glass and I could’ve been Sherlock Holmes!

After deliberation we decided that the fish could possibly have wriggled for some time once out of the bowl so we broadened our search to other parts of the room.

Still no sign.

Can fish just vanish into thin air? (I have to admit I googled this! I know, I know, but I was desperate!!)

Teen was becoming a little frantic, announcing that he didn’t want to sleep in a room with the corpse of a fish somewhere!

Then I shone the torch under the bed, crawling under a little, moving a few bits around (lucky I had cleaned under Teens bed a few weeks back) and saw something goldfish coloured!

I jumped back almost! I felt nauseous.

Aww, it was him. He was behind a bag.

Couldn’t believe this poor little fish had jumped out of the bowl, flapped about and, for something so small, ended up quite a distance from where he started, across the other side of the room, well under Teen’s double bed!

What a mammoth journey.

I had to call the OH up. Teen and I were both creeped out and didn’t want to touch it. I left the room and couldn’t watch!

OH retrieved the fish and was going to dispose (how awful) of it but Teen told him to put it back in the bowl.




Albeit very slowly, but he WAS swimming. He was ALIVE!

Was it a miracle?

I think it may have been, folks.

He had not only been lying under a bed for a few (dusty) hours, but he had also fallen off the high chest of drawers and wriggled like crazy all across the room!

And survived!

I’ll admit he didn’t look great. We began to oxygenate the water a little by taking some out and replacing with fresh water. He seemed to like this. But he really didn’t look great. He seemed to have lost his orange colour and looked a bit purple and silver. Bruises perhaps?

goldfish survives out of water

The Bionic Goldfish

We wrapped foil round the rim of the bowl, just in case he had any more kamikaze ideas and kept checking on him. He seemed so slow, probably what you would expect after such an epic trauma but we decided he probably wouldn’t last the night!

It’s now almost a week later and I am happy to reveal he’s still alive! Woo hoo!

It’s nothing short of a miracle. Was it a resurrection?!

Respect to him. Maybe it’s time to start shopping for that shiny new tank…..

Wot So Funee?


This Toothpaste Tastes Funny….

When we were all staying at my dads for a week in the summer holidays I did something rather stupid.

I know I went on in this post about how we don’t travel light when we go visit and how we take everything but the kitchen sink, but there’s certain things I don’t take. Things I know I won’t need because my Dad already has them in his house. For example, I wouldn’t take towels… no need, I wouldn’t take bedding…. no need, or cutlery…. you get the picture.

I also don’t take toothpaste. I take the little ones that the kids use…. my twins have a different one to my girl, she has the older kids one! Ha it’s hilarious how we buy all different toothpastes nowadays, I mean, when I was young we all used the same one and had to make do!

Anyway, I don’t take mine as my Dad (obviously) brushes his teeth and has toothpaste which I always use.


Dad’s toothpaste

However one night I went upstairs to get ready for bed. My three youngest were already tucked up but my Teen was on his laptop in one of the bedrooms skypeing his girlfriend.

I grabbed aforementioned toothpaste, squirted some out onto my brush and put it in my mouth.

YUK YUK YUK!!!!! What is THAT???  Urgh….. IT WAS DISGUSTING!!!!!

What on earth was that nasty taste?! It was like some kind of revolting, foul cleaning product or something…. I spat it out but the taste was vile and I couldn’t get rid of it. Erugh, erugh!!!! My immediate thought was that one of the younger children had washed something with my toothbrush. Maybe they had rubbed it in soap or poured shampoo on it? The little so and so’s I was thinking to myself…. just you wait till the morning….

In my now panicked state my eyes hurriedly scanned the room as if searching for evidence as to what was on my toothbrush….

Then I realised.

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry!!


I hadn’t put toothpaste on my brush at all. I had picked up my Teen’s bloody hair styling cream and was idiotically brushing my fr**gging teeth with it!!!!!!!!


My Teen, who had now poked his head round the door to see what all the commotion was about, was falling about laughing…. as was his girlfriend who was still on the laptop and could actually SEE ME!!!!!  Yeah, thanks for that love!!

I still couldn’t get rid of the taste, even after brushing my teeth with PROPER toothpaste.

I DID feel pretty stupid in all honesty.

In my defense though, the two bottles look almost identical, see the offending bottle for yourself…

hair cream

Teens hair cream

Anyone could’ve made the same mistake couldn’t they?! I mean… look at them??

I’m not to blame. It was pretty late and I was tired. It wasn’t my fault. But I did make sure the two bottles were kept on different sides on the bathroom after that!! 🙂


Wot So Funee?

The C Word

A few weeks ago my then 7 year old daughter came home from school and told me that one of the other children in her class had said the ‘C’ word!

Whaaat?!!!!  I stared at her in disbelief. How is this possible?!!! She said it so matter of fact. I mean, she obviously knew it was a very naughty word because she didn’t actually SAY the word. Good girl. I was extremely shocked though.

I wasn’t quite sure what to think. I didn’t want my little girl to have heard the most detestable of all swear words, the most vulgar, pointless, scummy word in my opinion. [Read more…]

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