Troublesome Teen

Teenager

Much as I worship and adore my Teen as I know I’ve mentioned many times before, he does cause me a lot of stress with his sometimes unruly and erratic behaviour.

These past few weeks he has pushed the boundaries and taken my stress levels to a whole new stratosphere!

When Teen was young he was a little angel. He was kind, caring, well behaved, popular, did well at school, talented etc etc……

And he still IS all of those things. He’s brilliant company and hilarious to be around when he’s on form. He is the apple of my eye.

Except now we have the fortune of some glorious add-ons.

The cheek….. Actually, cheeky is not the right word, it doesn’t seem fitting for a teenage boy to be called cheeky… too babyish. So I’ll say he’s downright rude instead. Not all the time you understand, just when something isn’t going his way or he’s being asked to do something he doesn’t want to do… in those scenarios he can be extremely off hand.

He can also be loud, obnoxious, rebellious, angry, arrogant, stroppy, lazy….. I suppose you’d say he’s your stereotypical teenage boy.

I put a lot of the above down to raging hormones. The past two years, from the age of just turned 13, he went from being an average size kid to one of the tallest in his year. Not freakishly tall but wonderfully lean and athletic. I don’t know whether the fact that he’s always been heavily into sport has magnified this colossal growth spurt but it has completely astonished me. He looks older than his years too so I’m assuming his hormones kicked in rather early.

Bless him.

But that doesn’t excuse certain behaviour that we’ve witnessed this past week or so.

It doesn’t excuse messing around at school and being disruptive in class.

I had to have a meeting with his English teacher this week because she says he ‘doesn’t have enough work in his folder’, he ‘disrupts the class’ and ‘is a force to be reckoned with’! I know exactly what she means by that last remark, he’s a big personality and can be intimidating at times. I imagine even more so in the eyes of a small, female teacher.

Teen says he doesn’t like said teacher because she ‘can’t teach’ – no idea when he learned the criteria of what makes a good teacher but there you go, he knows EVERYTHING of course!. He said she ‘singles him out’ even when it’s not just him talking… that’s not going to go down well with a hormonal 15 yr old. He also says he ‘doesn’t do anything’ to warrant her moaning at him…… he feels hard done by apparently. Teenagers are the masters of feeling hard done by. Nothing is EVER their fault! He also hates English as a subject. Always has.

So, I needed to go in and sort it out as this is quite serious now he’s just embarked on his two year GCSE course.

It doesn’t excuse getting your nose pierced without permission either.

Yes. Teen was out with friends and for some reason unbeknownst to me and one I will never understand as long as I live, he thought it would be ‘funny’ to get his nose pierced!! And not the usual place on the side of the nose either (this would’ve been bad enough), but the middle part. A piercing through the middle section of cartilage! I mean… WTAF?!

He’d hidden it from me by turning the ring upside down so it was inside his nose. He had been acting a little strangely I suppose, looking back, but my shock when I spotted it was indescribable.

I was stunned. I stared at him in disbelief as I tried to take in what I was seeing. I don’t even think I was breathing at this moment.

Why on earth would he want to do that to himself? I can’t and won’t accept that he may have thought it would look…… nice? He’s a beautiful boy and whether it’s trendy or not, it’s vile and I was utterly disgusted.

He was giving me the whole ‘calm down’ gesture type thing that teenagers do when parents get annoyed about something, as if we’re going completely over the top, which we never are. But I think he was upset. We’re very close so I think it would’ve been difficult for him to keep this from me. He said it hurt like mad and truthfully I think he wanted it out, but it was so painful he couldn’t physically do it. He’d had a rugby match that very day too where he’d been elbowed in the face (rugby roughness which he ordinarily loves) but because of this…… thing, it was excruciating.

I was just so angry.

But it was a moment of madness spurred on by a couple of mates. At least I hope that’s all it was. He DID think it looked ‘nice’ which is worrying, but agreed it wasn’t suitable for a boy his age. He removed it (with difficulty) and I think he was relieved to be honest.

But that’s not all.

We had grounded him for a month.

He felt very sorry for himself admittedly, but being a teenager also doesn’t excuse pretending to go to bed then escaping out of the back window to go to a party!

Oh yes, just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, my comedian of a son decided to become an escape artist!

I mean, it does sounds quite funny and I can laugh about it now but at the time?!! My god, I honestly believed it was the worse kind of rebellious behaviour imaginable and that my angel had turned into the son from hell. I started questioning my parenting… what had we done to make him do this to us?

We knew he was up to something though leading up to the event. I can usually read him like a book but this time it was the OH that had it all worked out.

It was Saturday night. We’d just had a takeaway and had started to watch The Voice. Teen was downstairs with us, no sign at this stage of what was to come.

He then disappeared upstairs. Still nothing unusual. But then we could hear him pacing around, making a fair bit of noise. OH was suspicious.

I was now getting the twins ready for bed, TV was loud and OH had gone upstairs to see what Teen was up to.

The next thing…. my mobile phone is ringing, it’s the OH! I stared at it for a second… OH was upstairs wasn’t he? It took me quite a while to fathom out what was going on, my poor brain was not handling this well at all!

OH was already out looking for Teen!

Apparently when OH had gone upstairs to see what Teen was up to, he noticed the back window of our bedroom open. We’re in the middle of a huge extension right now and there’s scaffolding all up the back of the house which is how Teen escaped. OH spotted him jumping over the back garden fence and ran downstairs and out of the front door to chase him!

I hadn’t heard any of this, so absorbed was I in the TV. I felt like someone had slapped me in the face. Disbelief washed over me.

How could Teen pull a stunt like this?

Well this is why…..

He was supposed to be going to a party that night. I’m usually a pushover and would normally just forgive him and let him go out to something like that but because there’d been a series of bad behaviour I decided to be the strict parent. He’d been grounded so we told him he was not going to the party. He had nothing more to lose in terms of punishment (I’d already confiscated his laptop, tablet, ipod, XBox, although I let him keep his phone – kicked myself for that one I can tell you because that’s how he’d obviously made plans for this great escape!) so off he went!

Did he believe we wouldn’t find out? It played out like one of those daft teen flicks…. probably where my stunt man teen got his inspiration! He’d already performed the old ‘pillows under the duvet to look like he was sleeping’ trick! Hilarious!

Before the realisation that he must’ve gone to the party… I was in panic mode and was thinking all sorts of terrible things. Like he’d run away or was going to do something stupid…. the sort of things you read about! So I was straight on the phone to some of his friends. I only have a couple of numbers and even then only managed to speak to one friend who denied knowing anything but promised to help. I called ex-girlfriend who was now panicking too but also promised to help by ringing other friends that I didn’t have numbers for. I’m sure this would’ve provided endless amounts of gossip for them all!

Meanwhile, OH was playing hide and seek with Teen.

Teen was on foot but OH had decided to get in the car…. Middle aged Daddy would’ve been no match for fit as a fiddle Teen had a chase ensued!

OH knew he couldn’t be far, there’s only so far you can get in any specified amount of time on foot. It was him that thought of the party and demanded to know where it was. I racked my brain then as luck would have it, I remembered taking Teen to this girl’s party last year, which meant I knew where it was. Not the house but the street!

In the end OH found Teen at the party. He’d parked down the road, waited for a bit on a stakeout, then made his move.

Now… this is the part where this story get’s in sillier!

The OH crept round the back of the house. He found it easily by seeing the number of teenagers hanging around outside! He then proceeded to JUMP over the back gate and in to the garden where loads more teenagers were!

Teen’s friend spotted him and said…

“Look, there’s your Dad!!!”

OMG! I will never get over how incredibly funny this is! The look on Teen’s face must’ve been an absolute picture! OH would not have cared one iota what anyone thought at that time… if anyone dared to question what he was doing, well…

Teen knew better than to argue or kick up a fuss. He left with his Dad!

They had a good chat on the way home. OH saw the funny side, it broke the ice and Teen apologised, knew he’d been very stupid but felt terrible when he saw how upset I was (he was still managing to sulk though).

OH reassured me that it really wasn’t that bad. He said he’d done it himself as a teenager, many times, and it’s what a lot of boys try and do.

I mentioned it to a friend this week and her husband piped up that I shouldn’t worry either as ‘it’s really not that bad’ because he’d also done it!! So maybe they’re right. Maybe it wasn’t THAT bad.

I’m glad we could all laugh about it afterwards though.

Teen promised not to do anything like that again and we agreed if certain criteria was met then the grounding days could be reduced.

He has since been acting like the perfect son this week, doing all he can for me as well as revising hard for biology and chemistry exams.

He’s back to his usual lovely self and it’s like it never happened!

Parenting a Teen is the most challenging aspect of bringing up a child. The rollercoaster of emotions. People are NOT joking when they say “It gets worse as they get older”. We never believe them!

It does. I’m telling you.

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Comments

  1. Oh god, I’ve got all this to come! My eldest starts secondary school in September and she already has her stroppy days.Some of my friends with teens have had a relatively smooth ride, whereas others have had major issues. I’m not sure I’m ready to deal with it at all yet. #pocolo

    • Mummy Endeavours says:

      I’d say the stroppyness def starts at age 11!!! We have to take the rough with the smooth I guess and it’s all part of growing up. If you have a teenager that doesn’t drive you insane there’s probably something wrong somewhere hehe x

  2. Noooooooooooo!!! I’m dreading this. One of my close friends is going through the same thing with her 15 year old son. He’s gone from being a model child to stroppy and rebellious, always thinking he knows best. The answer is…drink wine. Lots and LOTS of wine. Good luck honey; it sounds like you have a great relationship and at least he responds to you being upset which shows he cares. I’m sure (I hope for your sake and mine in the future) that it’s just a phase xxx

    • Mummy Endeavours says:

      He’s such a good boy most of the time and we do have a great relationship. He’s just trying to push the boundaries I guess. Hoping phase passes very soon lol. And wine?? Yes maybe I should take up a drinking habit to numb the stress ha x

  3. oh my gosh – this had me and my hubby laughing out loud! great post – good luck with the teen!!!

  4. Oh blimey what a nightmare! Hope his angel phas lasts!

  5. Am I allowed to say this actually made me laugh a few times! Oh dear, what a night the party night sounds and as for the nose ring! But… I also had my nose pierced (and a dubious tattoo) for the sole purpose of passing my Mum and Dad off. I was 16 and regret it now of course! Your boy is SO drop dead gorgeous as well, be definitely doesn’t need a ring in his nose. What HAVE I got coming my way I wonder…x

    • Mummy Endeavours says:

      It IS funny that’s the thing. Now. Not at the time though lol!! I don’t think I’ve got anything to worry about but it’s so important to keep a close eye on teenagers!!! He’s still grounded at the mo and id happy to keep him in forever!!! You make me laugh I can imagine you with the nose piercing!!

  6. This has to be my worst nightmare for when Grace gets older but I have to say that you have handled it brilliantly and I hope I handle it just as well when my time comes! 🙂 Thank you for linking to PoCoLo x

  7. oh the joys, been there done it, and dont envy you

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