Stroppy Mummy

stroppy angry mummt

I’ve just said good night to my children and I feel bad.

It’s been one of those evenings.

I know we all have them, as mothers. But tonight I’m actually quite ashamed of myself!

I acted like a spoilt brat.

In my defense, I was tired and it was way past my children’s bedtime, so I was irritable. Very irritable.

But the reason it was past my childrens bedtime was my fault.

I’d spent the half hour when I should’ve been winding down my three youngest kids, getting them ready for bed….. looking at my PHONE!

I’d been sitting there, oblivious, scrolling through Facebook, completely absorbed… but it wasn’t until I was trying to listen to a video that I realised my kids were acting riotous!

Angrily, I sprung up to have a go at them BECAUSE I COULDN’T HEAR THE SOUND ON MY PHONE!

Not bothered was I that they were trying to kill each other! Not flinched by the fact that I should’ve put them to bed over half an hour ago! Oh no… I was fuming because I wanted to listen to a stupid video and THEY were preventing me from doing so!

I told them in no certain terms that they should be getting ready for bed! What the hell did they think they were doing?!

(As if any child would start getting itself ready for bed on it’s own accord!)

What the hell did I think I was doing?

I knew it was bedtime for the kids. Why didn’t I just put them to bed as normal? The OH was in the shower by the way and was blissfully unaware of my lack of parenting at this crucial time of day!

I mean, my kids were just behaving like kids do when it’s past bedtime and they’re left to their own devices… they start going crazy! They’re overtired and start annoying each other, bickering and fighting, resulting in lots of screaming and shouting!

But now, I’m at the point of no return and I’m not seeing things rationally!

The kids have made a right mess of the living room! Seriously, it was a bomb site! I’m always amazed at how much mess kids can make when you’re not watching them.

Crap everywhere!

I’m fed up of picking up CRAP!

The cushions from the sofa were all over the floor! Again. Argh! This made me want to pull my hair out! I must pick the stupid cushions up at least 10 times a day. Maybe more. How many times can I ask the kids not to throw them on the floor before they’ll stop throwing them on the floor? Not enough obviously! Then of course, my darling offsprings had eaten biscuits which had been trodden into said cushions and all over the carpet, making the place look even more disgusting!

Urgh!

They thought this was funny. Which annoyed me!

I told them to pick up the cushions themselves…. I’m not a slave… then get upstairs.

Once in the twins bedroom I’m met with even more mayhem! The contents of their wardrobe had been strewn across the floor.

OMG!

I thought I was going to hyperventilate!

Apparently this was the result of a game of hide and seek, where H was hiding in the wardrobe and was trying to create more space for himself.

Don’t get me wrong. My boys have done this before and usually it’s not a problem. They are just playing after all and I usually just pick the clothes up and put them back. I’m usually very calm and this doesn’t bother me. My children are so good, I never really have a reason to be cross with them.

But tonight?

I was incredibly stroppy and wasn’t in the mood. In fact, that’s putting it mildly…. The truth is I could almost feel my blood boiling I was so enraged!

The boys thought it was a little bit funny (again), although they weren’t as sure this time whether they should laugh. Maybe they could sense my imminent, childish mental breakdown?

I asked them who they think should pick up all the mess… me? Yes they said!

So I grabbed the remaining contents of the wardrobe and tossed everything all over the room! I grabbed a pair of pyjamas for each of them and threw them on the bed, telling them to put them on themselves! (I normally help them, not that they can’t do it by themselves because they are quite capable!)

I stormed out of their room telling the OH (who had suddenly appeared, looking at me like I was crazy, but having enough sense to keep schtum and not say a word to me) that I’d had enough and that I wasn’t dealing with it any more! I made a scene, feeling some sort of smug satisfaction.

I stomped downstairs, making threats in my own mind that I wouldn’t even say goodnight!

Ha! That would teach them!

I plonked myself back on the sofa, trying to calm down!

OH proceeded to get the kids ready for bed.

Of course, almost straight away I felt a surge of guilt.

What the hell was wrong with me?

If only I’d just got them ready for bed as usual instead of gawping at my stupid phone!

If only I’d put them to bed at the normal time instead of allowing everyone, including myself, to become over tired.

I was so upset with myself.

OH came downstairs and informed me that the kids were in bed.

Bless their hearts. I felt even more guilty.

I went upstairs, sat on their beds and gave them lots of cuddles and kisses. They were fine. They weren’t phased but they did squeeze me just that little bit tighter, as if to say it’s OK Mummy!

I love them so much.

OH had also tidied up their room and put all their clothes away.

More guilt for me! (although OH tidying up in any situation is a very rare occurrance so I didn’t feel THAT guilty about that!).

I really hated myself though at this time. I know it’s ‘normal’ to have days/nights like this. But it doesn’t make me feel any better about it.

Do you have moments like this? What sends you over the edge?

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Comments

  1. I had a moment like this last Wednesday. Same different. Felt guilty at the end. And when I went to see my son’s face while he is asleep I felt massive guilt and … I am learning. And hopefully wont do what I have done again and I will be better next time. #pocolo

    • Mummy Endeavours says:

      We are human and we can’t help it sometimes I suppose! As long as it’s not too often I guess we’re ok 🙂

  2. Oh hun, big hugs! This is totally normal, and you’re definitely not the only one to have ever reacted like that. I hold my hands up, Ive totally done it. But the positive is you’ve sat back and realised that you were acting irrationally, you’ve held your hands up, addressed it and you probably won’t do it again. And THAT is what makes you a great parent!! 🙂 #PoCoLo

  3. Sarah Anne says:

    Oh god. this is me more often than I’d like to admit! But it just goes to show that mum’s are human too, we aren’t machines. If I’m tired after a day at work and I know I still need to workout so I’m kind of rushing the kids to bed and they don’t cooperate I know that’s when I can go beast-mum…it’s not cool, but it is what it is. At least we can see it and we’re aware that things can set us off…and maybe send out a warning to the family when we know it’s coming!

    #pocolo

  4. Yes! I have days like these then realise I should put my phone down and spend time with my toddler and beat myself up. I usually make up for it as that mum guilt is horrendous! Thanks for linking in to PocoLo from guest host Ali @ Mum in a Nutshell

  5. StephsTwoGirls says:

    Oh yes. I’d love to meet the mum who says she’s never had a day like this 😉 all it shows is that you need a break. It all gets too much from time to time, we try and multitask too much, and so rather than taking a decent break for ourselves, we try and sneak phone checks in at the end of a busy day. Deep breaths and a big glass of something 🙂 x

  6. Oh Carolynne we all have these days and the guilt that follows. It happens, normally when we’re tired. I’ve got cross with POD over silly things before although working when she’s back from pre-school is never ideal!

  7. I do and it happens far too often. It’s great that you realised what had happened and have accepted that we all do go through it.

  8. I’ve brought up two girls and currently have a nine year old, so, yup, been there, done similar stuff, but they have all survived thus far! The important part is that we learn from it. Maybe it’s time your children started doing a few things for themselves? Perhaps your lil atomic reaction came from feeling a bit unappreciated? There’s really no reason why they can’t pick the cushions up or put back the clothes they’ve removed. Just a thought, but, either way, I’m sure you’re a brilliant mum. No one is perfect all the time, it sounds like you’re a lot more tolerant than some!

  9. Sometimes things and situations take the better of us and these things happen.After all a mums life is not easy,

  10. Don’t beat yourself up about it. We do all have moments like this. Explain to your children that you were tired and you shouldn’t have shouted at them.

  11. *hugs* we are all humans and do things we worry about after perhaps just have a chat with them in the morning?x

  12. We all have times like this when life gets too much, we wouldn’t be human if we didn’t. Don’t beat yourself up about it, you feel guilty, that’s enough.

  13. karaguppy2015 says:

    THis is totally normal, been there and done that! Mine is normally hormonal and is classic PMT, the smallest things irritate me. I am now trying some herbal tablets to see if they help and they seem to be but will keep you posted

  14. We’ve all had days like this- but the guilt just bites you in the ass doesn’t it?! Hope you feel less cranky today!! Sending hugs to make you smile! x

  15. I am such a bitch when I am tired. Lack of sleep is no good for me and I can understand why you did this. I often say that I can not tell who is the child them or me. Pick yourself off, have an early night and give them a big cuddle

  16. Don’t feel bad, we are only human, we all behave like this at times. Your times love you just the same x

  17. Oh bless you! I think we all have moments like this, try not to feel too bad! x

  18. I think everyone has moments that they feel they lose it for no real reason, don’t be too hard on yourself.

  19. Big hugs, we all do something like this at some point. DOn’t beat yourself up too badly, Being tired makes everyone tetchy xxx

  20. please don’r beat yourself up x
    we are all human big hugs

  21. Oh my gosh – seriously – I could have written this post. The rage – then the guilt after is truly horrible. You are human lovely – it does happen to every mum (well 99%) love your honesty. Kaz x

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