Don’t Want to Go Back To School

Ever since the Easter school holidays began, my Twins were asking me…

“We’re not going back to school today are we Mummy?”.

They said it with such worry that I felt terribly sorry for them and it made me not want to take them back to school again, ever.

They’re only four and I’ve been ever so concerned about them starting school too young, as I’ve written about on many occasions, but I’ve tried to convince myself that they’re ok. They’ve settled in and that’s it.

They don’t talk to me seriously, being so little, so I can’t fully understand what’s bothering them but we try to reassure them as much as we can. They just want to be home I suppose with their Mummy instead of out in the big wide world, as they see it! I know they find certain aspects of school daunting, like the ‘big playground’ at lunchtime, or even just having to communicate with people. Bless them.

Being late August born premature babies, O and H have, by default, started school the year before they should have, had they been born on time, and it’s been an emotional journey because I felt they were no where near ready to start Reception last September, when they had just turned 4 yrs old.

Painfully shy and clingy, they had struggled all through nursery and I felt I needed to take action, but after months of trying to delay their school start for a year and not succeeding, I reluctantly had to send them.

But it’s been a much more positive experience than I imagined. My boys settled in reasonably well and have fantastic teachers who are aware of my concerns and who have been amazing with O and H, understanding their needs and helping them to overcome their shyness.

My boys have made friends but it’s still incredibly obvious that they’re younger than the others and it hurts my feelings when I think they don’t want to be at school. I think, well you’re so tiny and young, I don’t think you should be there either. I have a hard time with this.

My twins are ever so close

I sometimes wonder if I should’ve tried harder to secure a delayed school place but I knew that if I did win my case, it would’ve been very unlikely that O and H would’ve been offered a place at the school I wanted. The school they are in now. So I felt it came down to a choice, and because their Head Mistress reassured me that my boys would be fine, they’d make sure of it, I decided to take the plunge and hope for the best.

It’s tough though because I’m always going to think.. what if?

Maybe I make matters worse in my own head. Everything they do, or can’t do, I put down to them being young. Too young and immature for the cohort they are currently in.

Take writing for example. They struggle and can just about write their names at the moment and this is the last term now of Reception. H isn’t even comfortable holding a pencil for any precise work which I think can’t be right, surely? He doesn’t want to try at home when I suggest it. O is slightly better and definitely more keen to learn but can still only write the letters in his own name.

Reading is another issue. They would rather place the opened books on top of their heads for a laugh than read the words! They’re pretty good at recognising all the letter sounds but they can’t blend them together, even if they’ve seen the word on every blummin page they say it wrong lol! But they enjoy being read to, which I’m sure is a positive.

I’m not going to force their reading though as I believe they’ll get there eventually. I also know that in some European countries where children don’t start school or learn to read until the age of seven, they are no further behind ours by the age of secondary school so what’s the point of starting ours so early? I just don’t want my boys to feel inadequate if they don’t pick things up as quickly as the others in their class, who are older.

I know that many of them can read well now, which concerns me a little, although some of the others are still pretty much in the same place as my boys, so maybe I’m worrying needlessly. Their teachers don’t seem worried at all, they say it will fall into place eventually and that abilities in the classroom sometimes don’t even out until year 2, but it WILL even out.

I hope so.

I have a friend who has a son in Reception, not at my boys school, but he is one of the oldest in his year with an early September birthday. O and H are a whole year younger, (more if you take their actual DUE date into account which was the end of September) and I know that if they were starting school THIS September, things would be much easier for them AND me.

But anyway, they are back at school now, yesterday was their first day and they were fine. They were excited when we arrived at school and they saw a couple of little boys from their class. When I picked them up they were very happy so I’m hoping all is good.

I’m always going to worry I guess, and I would’ve worried whichever year group they were in. I’m their Mummy and it’s what us Mummies do isn’t it?

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Comments

  1. Ahh I am the same. Buba will be 4 yo then start school as he is a august baby. I am so nervous and scared for him. He has a lot of ailments to against him so I am worried he will be picked on and bullied right from the start. Its awful I think if you want to hold them back another year you should be able to. You can in the states although we don’t start until 6 years old kindergarden. I keep trying not to think about it until the very moment I have to. I am glad O & H finally are settling in and the teacher has been great with them. I think that’s important and can really help. Thank you so much for linking up to Share WIth me #sharewithme

  2. Glad the boys are settling back in okay. It’s natural to worry as they are so young but it sounds like they are at a nice supportive school and that’s more important than anything.

  3. Oh bless, that must be so hard for you. Much harder for you than them though I’m sure, kids tend to take things in their stride so much more than adults. For us the issue will be getting Libby into a school that we like, the one she would go to for our current catchment area is just awful. She’ll also be an early starter but I think she will enjoy school as long as it’s the right one. I hope things continue to go well for the twins now they’re back into the swing of it.x

  4. My twins start school in September and I’m a bag of nervous. They also seem so young still and I’m worried how they’ll cope. Try not to worry about them not reading yet they all learn at their own level and I’m sure I’ll settle into it in no time. x

  5. I also have a 4 year old who started school last September (he is 5 next week) and am with you here. He settled well at school (though has an older brother there so is used to going to school and knows the teachers already) and is doing fine but I still worry. It is tough being a parent isn’t it! Glad your twins have settled back into things, sounds like they are doing great xx

  6. I think it’s just you, being a parent you’re always going to worry about them no matter what. I hope they’re settled now and have lots of fun with other kids ;)

  7. As the months go by I’m sure they’ll start to settle in a lot more – us parents worry so much about our children and they’re more resilient to things than we give them credit for! It may well have been where they had the long Easter break that the thought of going back was a bit scary! xx

    • Mummy Endeavours says:

      Yes I think you’re right. And I suppose no child WANTS to go back, my other two would rather not lol. I just feel for them because they’re so little x

  8. oh, i remember that feeling of not wanting to go back to school. my parents didn’t seem to care though, probably glad to get a bit of peace :)

  9. What you have to remember is that they are a quarter of their life younger than some of the other children in their year. Also there is nothing stopping you requesting a repeat year as you are now already in the school You are their mum and know what is best for them. Mini at seven never wants to go back to school.

  10. I think it is only natural to worry. My son is an August baby and I found reception year really hard as I felt I had lost him a year early. Year 1 is definitely much easier!

  11. Oh bless, that must be so incredibly hard for you. Riley was born 10 weeks premature, although thankfully arriving in the November so won’t start school until he’s 5 but i know for a fact he would not have been ready at 4. I wish the system and government had a better understanding of premature babies and their needs, although it sounds like the school are offering your twins the best support given the circumstances. xxx

  12. I think that the age all children are when they start school is too young really. But a lot of the time is spent with play and I really believe that they all get there in their own time if you don’t force it too much. Good luck, I hope it all falls into place which I’m sure it will.

  13. aw its natural to worry , we all know deep down they wil be fine though and also thats a lovely pic of them both x

  14. I think this is normal for every child…they have their fears and concerns and are just going through life by your guidance. You are doing the best for them and I’m sure they will soon settle and have so much fun. x

  15. This must be such a difficult situation to have to deal with. Us mums will always worry x

  16. Aww i wouldn’t want mine to go back to school after having them home for the holidays. x

  17. mums always worry, and four really is so young to be away all day long.

  18. Awww hunny. I would totally be the same as you.
    I don’t even want Hayden to go to school LOOOOOL – I will keep him with me forever in a bubble just like bubble boy.
    Hope they had a fab day back

    Lotte xo

  19. Some of the little ones going into reception look so small and you can’t help think that the system is wrong somehow :( hope they start to enjoy it more x

  20. I worried about my little man starting as a June birthday and he wasn’t really ready. he is enjoying it now but it has taken a while.

  21. Kids starting school is always a worry. Kian was born at the end of August and was always behind his peers for the first couple of years. They all catch up eventually and now at 13 he is in top set for every subject.
    Reception is just an extension of nursery these days and is still based on the EYFS and learning through play, they just get to wear uniform!

  22. cassfrugalfamily says:

    Aaaw bless them. If it’s any consolation my two didn’t want to go back and they’re 9 and 11. I got my little girl held back at nursery stage as she started early and wasn’t ready to go up to reception – is that a possibility for you x x

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