Nursery Nightmares

Its a scary time of day. You know that time when it’s broad daylight, the beginning of a beautiful Springtime morning…. when we’re all starting our day? Yes – 8.45am is fright time…….. For my boys it is anyway.

It’s the time my twins start nursery.

This week has been their first week back after the Easter holidays and to say it hasn’t gone smoothly would be an understatement! They started back on Wednesday and every morning they have cried when going in. In fact, one of my twins wouldn’t even get out of the car on all three days, I had to drag him out kicking and screaming.

It upsets me immensely and I feel cruel. I want to take them home. Why am I doing this to them? Forcing them into a situation that causes them such distress and then, this is the really cruel part, LEAVING them there; allowing the teachers to snatch them off me while I just walk away listening to their cries of ‘Mummy’,’I want my Mummy’. Hearing them banging on the door to escape….

Yes, this sounds like the stuff of nightmares alright.

My twins are so young (August born), premature and very clingy. They just want to be with ME. They aren’t great socialisers and they’re painfully shy. It’s always been the same, I guess being twins and having two other siblings they don’t feel the need to socialise, they have all they want and need at home. Shyness too is often overlooked as something ‘silly’ and comments such as ‘they’ll grow out of it’ I hear all the time. I don’t think people truly understand how debilitating it can be. Yes they probably will grow out of it but it’s not silly, it’s very real and right now it’s something that is causing them to suffer. I can feel them cringing sometimes when people talk to them; I think they would prefer to be invisible and just slot in quietly. But at nursery they can’t do that and teachers will insist on making a fuss! I know how my boys feel and it hurts me.

On the plus side, they are usually smiling when I collect them and they like to talk to me about what they’ve done so at least that’s something, even if the next morning it starts all over again. Last term was a similar situation. We had bad days and not so bad days. Never great days. Maybe this week was particularly difficult because of the Easter holidays and being used to staying at home, but there’s no doubt this separation for us is challenging. With some constant reassurance though from us, hopefully they will finally settle – and they do need to as they are due to start Reception in September. I’m extremely worried about that too but that’s a whole other blog!

Ultimately, facing their own little nightmares is sadly the only way they will conquer them. Or so we’re led to believe….. so we shall battle on.

I will update next week!

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